Signs You Should Probably Just Give Up

• She said, “No.”
• He said, “No.”
• You choose “I’ll fight the Dragon Tiger now” on page 12 of a choose your own adventure book.
• Your doctor days your weight loss goal is 800 lbs and he starts you with arm exercises from your bed.
• The cool kids are doing it.
• Your geographic location is commonly referred to as “Vietnam”.
• Your ultra-gay Morrissey poster and how it makes you feel.
• Your favorite band is White Flag.
• You have bright orange eyebrows.
• Chris Hanson steps out and asks you to have a seat…
• Your penis formally tendered his resignation in front of the whole office and made a scene by knocking over the water cooler.
• You’ve burned your face AGAIN and you can’t afford your 6th face transplant because you ONLY want the face of one of the Grey’s Anatomy Doctors.
• The Chemo didn’t take.
• The president issued a state of emergency warning due to the ongoing drought in your desolate, arid clam.
• Even your mother stopped saying, “That’s nice.”
• Your name is Jon Heder.
• Your son creampies your other son.