COCK SOUP !?!?!?

Great news from wang-doodlerville… Tiny Dicks are now available in soup form!!! Who knew?!
Seriously – nothing like a bowl full of tiny pee-pees floating in taint broth.
No, there’s no joke here other than the fact that it’s called “Cock Soup”.
Thoughts? Anyone?

Boston Anti-Groping Campaign Causes Controversy

A new advertising campaign in Boston aims to protect female commuters from unwanted groping, which is a great idea. However, this movement will marginalize all the dudes who can’t get some by conventional means. In response to the anti-groping campaign, Pro-Boner lawyer Dan Canter has started his own initiative which paints the gropers as the [...]

What Are Your Plans For The Weekend?

Saturday – Drive straight into the ocean. Sunday – Lie to Nationwide

Go Poaching

Finally learn to read

Write a perverted and hateful email to the mother of my children

Break my tailbone

Update Andrew Zimmern’s wikipedia entry with all the information I’ve learned while spying on him

Covet thy Neighbor’s Wife

Put on a puppet show in the mirror and [...]

It’s Morning Time, Friends

I partied on the kitchen counter. Also, no new news regarding my wings… Waiting on a miracle, I guess. I dropped my foot on the pedal this morning and used it to propel me to work. Swatches of all different colors line the bathrooms at work.

Have you ever smelled a latte I made? [...]

BY DECREE OF THE KING…

All salt must be low sodium.
Special Olympics will be nationally televised and heavily gambled upon.
All women shalt be hairless.
“Doggystyle” is from hence forth only to be referred to as “Style”
Kentucky shall now be pronounced Can’t-ucky.
Barnes and Noble is now knighted so it shall be called SIR Barnes of Nobility… No, scratch that… this decree is [...]

You Are Cordially Invited to a Lemmon Party

Some friends invited me to check out a “lemon party”. I thought, “Great! Spend the day with a couple of Jack Lemmons in a party scenario – what could be more fun?!” The picture below is what I thought they meant:

Boy, was I wrong. The real “Lemon Party” internet phenomenon apparently occurred a few years [...]

Soldier of Fortune – Soldier of the Month – Tom Tiff

Tom Tiff is a Corporal in the United States Marines – he’s a Nuclear Babies specialist.

DUTIES: Sitting with Babies while they glow; Extracting concentrated radioactive ions and injecting them into babies; R&D on Baby Glowing; Field duty and paperwork; Removing Nuclear babies from the proximity of other soldiers.
Tours of Duty: BOSNIA, GAZA STRIP (wink), [...]

You Know Your Intern Has Lost It…

When you find something like this sitting in the top drawer of his desk, as you’re rummaging through it looking for candy.

C’mon Fagan… You’re creeping everyone out.

Put my Thang Down, Flip it and Reverse it

So, we’re exhausted from working jobs and updating this blog with hit-and-mostly-miss “comedy”. Jim has officially spun out, which became clear two nights ago when he wrote a post entitled “Things the Pink Panther Owns.” (Which, upon me writing this, I realize probably should be posted) Anyway, that’s when it hit me/us. [...]

Another Celebrity Charged With DUI

 …but not who you would expect!
Police were baffled to find Benny, the cartoon cab from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? blocking traffic on Hollywood Blvd Saturday afternoon.

Benny told police that he stopped into the Formosa Cafe for a drink on his way home from his shift. Sadly, the classic car has gone from movie [...]