Boston Anti-Groping Campaign Causes Controversy

A new advertising campaign in Boston aims to protect female commuters from unwanted groping, which is a great idea. However, this movement will marginalize all the dudes who can’t get some by conventional means. In response to the anti-groping campaign, Pro-Boner lawyer Dan Canter has started his own initiative which paints the gropers as the victims. “Cum on People! Hehehe. But seriously, there is spongy tissue that needs to be saturated…Unless we take a stand.”

With a ton of financing behind them, the Pro-Boner activists have made this advertisement, beseeching the formerly molested to pro-actively press themselves against a stranger’s penis. Only time will tell if the amount of erection garnered from the new ads will be enough to keep the the trains chubbed and the pre-cum trickling.

With the decline of train groping, the public can expect increasing molestation in elevators, Au Bon Pains and Blood Banks at exponential rates.