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Hey Guys,
Just got back to Los Angeles from a romp on the east coast (this is a lie) and I had some pretty hot and heavy intercourse while I was out there. It was the kind of sex that is, well, to be frank… condomless. I probably impregnated at least 4 different women while [...]
Filed under: Jim | Tagged: Alimony, America, Bi-Coastal, Boston, Condom, Condomless, Daddy, East Coast, Kids, Los Angeles, New York, Not Rape, Single parent, Washington | 2 Comments »
With all the recent speculation and all the reports on cloning and genetically engineering animals to reproduce clone-like copies of the animals (and some day humans) the question of “who is going to get these clones drunk?” has been weighing heavily on my mind.
It’s a lot like highschool, right? Bear with me on this… [...]
Filed under: Bud Light, Jim | Tagged: Bud Light, Cats, Cloning, Doctor, Dogs, Drunk, Otters, Scientist | 2 Comments »
Weld a baking pan to my face, then make some fucking brownies on my fucking face
Get a Carbon Emissions Test (while reading excerpts from the script for SEX & THE CITY with your super cute, but unavailable mechanic)
Drink pee – mine or yours, either option is better than the movie
Hang out with Matthew Broderick 23 [...]
Filed under: Adam, Jim, Rick | Tagged: Healthy Alternatives, Kim Catrall, New Movies, Sex and the City, Spiders | 5 Comments »
Hi Folks,
I’d like to bridge a topic here. A topic that hits close to home for someone who comes from a broken, yet unbroken (and at the same time slightly retarded) household. It’s the phenomenon of middle aged (think mid 40’s, because let’s face it, mid 40’s is the new mid 30’s) men and [...]
Filed under: Jim | Tagged: Aging, Dan, Divorce, Loveless Marriages, Men, Middle Age, My Wife, Sailing, schooners, Women | Leave a Comment »
So, a lot of things have happened to me in the past month or so… A lot of weird and unoriginal things. Stuff that you get bored by just hearing about, never mind seeing. Needless to say, in order to cope with how boring / tedious / monotonous my life is, I started really caring [...]
Filed under: Jim | Tagged: Dog Show, Girl, Hurdles, Olympics, OMG, Overreaction | Leave a Comment »
Hopefully no one sees Reese and I on our trip… I would hate to rub this in Ryan’s face… We had a heart to heart, Ryan and I – and we really broke it down. His new movie STOP LOSS didn’t do so well, and he’s really upset (oh shit, now you probably know [...]
Filed under: Jim | Tagged: Best Friend, Cannes, Cheating, Europe, Indiana Jones, Jim Martin, Marriage, Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillippe | 2 Comments »
You may have noticed a lag in updating this site. I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, what a bunch of shiftless layabouts!” Wrong! In fact, we just returned from the hospital – that’s right, ALL of us. We were treated for sustained injuries due to choking on cock soup
So many little cocks got stuck in [...]
Filed under: Adam, Jim, Rick | Tagged: choking, cock soup, lactose intolerant, return | 2 Comments »
