Wait… Chocolate Iced Cream!? Really?

Why didn’t anyone tell me?  Did you think I already knew?  How could I have missed this? I mean – it’s like two different worlds, comingling in one heartfelt bowl or box.

I knew about chocolate, I mean – who doesn’t? For my seventh birthday I had a big ol’ Crunch bar… Years later I would [...]

Boston Celtics have Sex with The Lakers’ Mom

Good news, anyone! After a dismal and slightly “dry rough anal sex”ish first half of professional NBA basketball on Thursday, June 12th, in game 4 of the NBA Finals, the Celtics prevailed over the Kobe Bryant and the lauded “Los Angeles” Lakers in a very “lubed up full penetraish”esque second half! Want to [...]

The Happening – An M. Night Shyamalan Joint

First off: It’s Plants. Plants fight back. That’s what the happening is. It’s retarded.

Now that the big spoiler is out of the way… Here’s a little run down:
In this new feature film by writer-director M. Night Shyamalan, there’s something that “Happens” and it really fucks with people. It’s a devastating [...]

CAR RACES MAKE MY HEART RACE (an editorial piece)

Nothing’s faster than a truly fast car. No matter how you dice it, they can SPEED off and PEEL OUT way better than anything else. What would be better than watching a car drive? How about taking more than one car, and make them race the other cars? That’s the best. I won’t even [...]

Randy Palmer Has A Dirty Little Secret

Have you heard? I’m not surprised! He’s been so quiet about it. Why is he such a secret-keeper?
Randy Palmer has been lying to all of us for years, and it’s time someone blew the whistle. You know what? That someone is REAL BAD FRIEND. We have the dirt on Randy Palmer, [...]