Damn you Tiny David Caruso!

Stop Lurking Caruso.  I wanna see cuteness.

Stop Lurking Caruso. I wanna see cuteness.

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Puppy Abduction

 

They Gotz Me

I hope they have a tiny probe.

James Franco Tapped to Play Ani Difranco

James Franco to play Ani Difranco

James Franco to play Ani Difranco

Actor James Franco has signed on to play singer/songwriter Ani Difranco her upcoming biopic, “Just One Big Slice: The Ani Difranco Story,” which will begin shooting next week in Saigon.  Franco’s agent said the actor was ecstatic over the chance to represent the singer and feminist icon on the big screen.

When asked about the selection of James Franco, the film’s Director Brian Singer said he chose the star because “his name is close to Difranco.”  However, he wasn’t Singer’s first choice.  The director’s ideal choice was Ani Difranco but producers thought she was back into girls and they thought that represented a negative side to her ouvre.  Franco was already in character last week at the EPK shoot (see below).

James Franco as Ani Difranco

James Franco as Ani Difranco


Random House Announces New Character Drama

The economy may be down, but America’s publishing mavens Random House have just purchased the rights to the insider lauded and commercially viable dramatic manuscript of the year, “NO MORE JOKES – the final decline of Steve Martin” from author and philanthropist Matt Christopher.

nomorejokesThe book’s logline as quoted from Random House’s press release: In a sad turn of events, Steve Martin (who hasn’t aged in years) falls into the habit of aging very quickly. In the final week of his life, The laughs have run out, and Steve Martin isn’t going to make it out alive.

Prince Paula Abdul

Did you hear about the stalker who killed herself in front of Paula Abdul’s house?  WE DID.  Now, everyone can thank her because, upon reading that story, I realized two things:

1. That chick (the stalker) had nice tits.

2. Paula Abdul looks like Prince!

Maybe you can see it from this picture:

Paula Abdul looks like Prince

Paula Abdul looks like Prince

I know you can probably see it already.  But we live in an age of “modern” technology.  So, I give you… The artist currently known as PRINCE PAULA ADBUL, the ultimate artist.  It’s like Prince on more pills!

Prince Paula Abdul

Prince Paula Abdul

Obama Campaigns in Ohio and Pennsylvania and Other places – Answers the HARD Questions

AP reporting – Joe the Plumber is crapping around, not paying taxes, living life… John McCain is spouting nonsense and not making any sense about what his policies are, why he believes in the war and why he doesn’t thinks that a tax-cut for 95% of the population is dispicable… Sarah Palin is showing up on Saturday Night Live like she’s avril lavigne (also Canadian)…

BUT BARACK OBAMA WILL ANSWER ANY QUESTION, ANY TIME – 100% TRUTH, NO FUCKING AROUND.

Barack Obama gives an in detail description of his unit to a local youth group.

See what I mean? See above, okay?

The Red Sox of Orange County

Red Sox Catcher Jason Varitek looks like a beefed-up Slade Smiley (from Real Housewives of Orange County).  It’s not opinion.  It’s SCIENCE.  I’ll prove it.  Here is Jason Varitek:

Jason Varitek

Example A: Jason Varitek

Here is Slade Smiley (BTW he’s kind of a fag):

Slade Smiley

Example B: Slade Smiley

These pictures aren’t the best examples.  They really have similar bone structures in the face.  The only difference is that Varitek’s face is much thicker.  I think that’s because Slade probably purges.  But, just to prove my case.  Imagine Jason Varitek purged too.  Would he look like THIS:

Slade Varitek

Slade Varitek