Science Clones Puppies, Bud Light Gets Them Hammered

With all the recent speculation and all the reports on cloning and genetically engineering animals to reproduce clone-like copies of the animals (and some day humans) the question of “who is going to get these clones drunk?” has been weighing heavily on my mind.

It’s a lot like highschool, right? Bear with me on this… In highschool there were a lot of faceless and boring humans, right? Just bricks in the wall – essentially clones… They were just SO superfluous to the scene… Until they got drunk. They all of a sudden became interesting in some fashion. One bland nerd would touch too much, one bookworm would get loud and break something, one plain girl would finally blow you, it was a testament to how awesome booze can be for boring individuals.

Drinking Bud Light makes Animal Clones Happy

But who does this for animals, and even more importantly and germaine to this question… who does it for the boring animal clones? Scientist and Doctor DeShawn Wooster called me on the phone this morning and gave me some solid quotes that he said I can, “and should,” use in this article.

“It’s simple, Jim. Otters.” What? “Otters are the facilitators of the animal world. They will get the clones drunk.” I paused, inquiring as to whether or not there would be enough otters to sauce up all the clones. Dr. Wooster laughed (I think it was a laugh.) “Well, we can clone the otters, too! And the good news about that is, Bud Light has partnered with the Center for Genetics and Society to make sure that otters everywhere provide crisp golden refreshment to dogs, cats and other cloned animals everywhere.”

So there you have it, Bud Light getting animals drunk and making people happy.

Are you for it, or against it? Cloning I mean. What about animals drinking?

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3 Responses

  1. Yeah, I saw your lame comment on that fat Rogue Jew’s blog. The guy is such a pig he posted a shot of his fat hairy rear to slur Muslims. And he can’t handle my comments so he deletes them. Occasionally, he stop by my blog to leave a foul message.

    You two will have lots to talk about together in that bathhouse on Castro Street.

  2. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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