The economy may be down, but America’s publishing mavens Random House have just purchased the rights to the insider lauded and commercially viable dramatic manuscript of the year, “NO MORE JOKES – the final decline of Steve Martin” from author and philanthropist Matt Christopher.
The book’s logline as quoted from Random House’s press release: In a sad turn of events, SteveMartin (who hasn’t aged in years) falls into the habit of aging very quickly. In the final week of his life, The laughs have run out, and SteveMartin isn’t going to make it out alive.
Did you hear about the stalker who killed herself in front of Paula Abdul’s house? WE DID. Now, everyone can thank her because, upon reading that story, I realized two things:
1. That chick (the stalker) had nice tits.
2. Paula Abdul looks like Prince!
Maybe you can see it from this picture:
Paula Abdul looks like Prince
I know you can probably see it already. But we live in an age of “modern” technology. So, I give you… The artist currently known as PRINCE PAULA ADBUL, the ultimate artist. It’s like Prince on more pills!
Red Sox Catcher Jason Varitek looks like a beefed-up Slade Smiley (from Real Housewives of Orange County). It’s not opinion. It’s SCIENCE. I’ll prove it. Here is Jason Varitek:
Example A: Jason Varitek
Here is Slade Smiley (BTW he’s kind of a fag):
Example B: Slade Smiley
These pictures aren’t the best examples. They really have similar bone structures in the face. The only difference is that Varitek’s face is much thicker. I think that’s because Slade probably purges. But, just to prove my case. Imagine Jason Varitek purged too. Would he look like THIS:
RBF NEWS FLASH! -Following his Wrestlemania knockout over Big Show, Floyd “Money” Mayweather has agreed to a rematch with the 400 plus pounder. Due to contractual obligations, the rematch will be at the Morbid Heavyweight Division. To many in the fake sports world’s surprise, the pound for pound champion has agreed. Now476 McGriddles, 129 Whoppers, 280 Cinnabons, and 89 Shamrock Shakes later, Mayweather has already ballooned to 780lbs, making him a 4:1 favorite in Vegas, despite multiple heart and kidney failures. Blah Blah Blah just look at the funny picture:
This day and age, its not hard to find someone who claims to know Adobe Flash. While Flash-only sites are being more often criticized for their tendency towards animation and “flash” over accessibility and usability, the Flash medium is still very relevant if used properly. Here are 5 signs you shouldn’t hire a particular flash designer:
Creepy Portfolio – His portfolio is actually a shoe box filled with hair dolls made from pre-teen hairlocks and popped balloons.
Dependence on Components – While Flash comes packaged with very useful components that greatly shorten the time it takes to build certain actionscript elements, be weary of any flash programmer who depends solely on these items. A few components in sites are okay, but make sure your flash designer has also built a significant amount of dynamic elements from scratch.
Proposed Mutilations – Stay away from any programmer that threatens to brutalize your husband, cut his hands off and stick bundles of twigs in his eye sockets. Though this may appear to be a sign of thoroughness, it may be an indication that this programmer is criminally insane.
Resistant to Deliver you the .FLA – If you are paying for a flash site, the .FLA (the document that holds all the work by which the .swf is published) belongs to YOU. Any designer who refuses to give you the .fla to work from after building your site is probably trying to strong arm you into paying for costly updates down the line.
Flaming Head – Though having a head that is always on fire may be cool to look at, it may be a sign that this person is a demon from the underworld. Be sure to meet the person face to face, and if that face is engulfed in eternal flames, just say “no thank you.” The same goes for any designer whose eyes glow red.