Science Clones Puppies, Bud Light Gets Them Hammered

With all the recent speculation and all the reports on cloning and genetically engineering animals to reproduce clone-like copies of the animals (and some day humans) the question of “who is going to get these clones drunk?” has been weighing heavily on my mind.

It’s a lot like highschool, right? Bear with me on this… In highschool there were a lot of faceless and boring humans, right? Just bricks in the wall – essentially clones… They were just SO superfluous to the scene… Until they got drunk. They all of a sudden became interesting in some fashion. One bland nerd would touch too much, one bookworm would get loud and break something, one plain girl would finally blow you, it was a testament to how awesome booze can be for boring individuals.

Drinking Bud Light makes Animal Clones Happy

But who does this for animals, and even more importantly and germaine to this question… who does it for the boring animal clones? Scientist and Doctor DeShawn Wooster called me on the phone this morning and gave me some solid quotes that he said I can, “and should,” use in this article.

“It’s simple, Jim. Otters.” What? “Otters are the facilitators of the animal world. They will get the clones drunk.” I paused, inquiring as to whether or not there would be enough otters to sauce up all the clones. Dr. Wooster laughed (I think it was a laugh.) “Well, we can clone the otters, too! And the good news about that is, Bud Light has partnered with the Center for Genetics and Society to make sure that otters everywhere provide crisp golden refreshment to dogs, cats and other cloned animals everywhere.”

So there you have it, Bud Light getting animals drunk and making people happy.

Are you for it, or against it? Cloning I mean. What about animals drinking?

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Bud Light Bridges the Bipartisan Gap in D.C.

Bud Light - Endorsed by John Kerry and John McCain

In the midst of all the bipartisan mumbo jumbo that’s entailed in running for president, Bud Light decided to take it upon themselves and throw a mixer. Everyone was there, and everyone got blasted – especially the Johns. John McCain and John Kerry (pictured on the opposite side as just written) just sat around and told old war stories for most of the night, knocking back all the crisp, cool Bud Light they could find. By the end of it all, Bud Light had a new presidential campaign slogan for 2008.

Go To War. Run For President. Get Tanked.

Thanks, America.

Good Friday – Sponsored by Bud Light

Bud Light Mascot - JESUS!
Without doubt, Bud Light has been one of the forerunners in innovative and provocative advertising for years. They have just taken their ads one step further… by hiring MEL GIBSON as their advertising and marketing content director. Despite the controversial tone of some of his pieces, there is no question as to whether or not “the king of malibu” has been successful in peddling the “BL” as we call it here at RBF.
What’s next, Rob Reiner marketing president for Chef Boyardee? You tell us.