Random House Announces New Character Drama

The economy may be down, but America’s publishing mavens Random House have just purchased the rights to the insider lauded and commercially viable dramatic manuscript of the year, “NO MORE JOKES – the final decline of Steve Martin” from author and philanthropist Matt Christopher.

nomorejokesThe book’s logline as quoted from Random House’s press release: In a sad turn of events, Steve Martin (who hasn’t aged in years) falls into the habit of aging very quickly. In the final week of his life, The laughs have run out, and Steve Martin isn’t going to make it out alive.

Bud Light Bridges the Bipartisan Gap in D.C.

Bud Light - Endorsed by John Kerry and John McCain

In the midst of all the bipartisan mumbo jumbo that’s entailed in running for president, Bud Light decided to take it upon themselves and throw a mixer. Everyone was there, and everyone got blasted – especially the Johns. John McCain and John Kerry (pictured on the opposite side as just written) just sat around and told old war stories for most of the night, knocking back all the crisp, cool Bud Light they could find. By the end of it all, Bud Light had a new presidential campaign slogan for 2008.

Go To War. Run For President. Get Tanked.

Thanks, America.

BREAKING!! Father and Son Victims in Air Show Disaster

Ron Colby (47) and son Winky Colby (11) were the victims of a self-caused mishap at the Spring ’08 Military Airshow in Millville N.J. They accidentally picked the WORST time to get Gyros and missed the COOLEST part of the show.

at the gyro stand

Around 1:12pm Winky told his father that he wanted to get something to eat. Ron, despite a gut-feeling that this was NOT the time to leave their seats, foolishly pandered to his son’s desire. While ordering Gyros, a jet-car (a car with a jet engine) raced a plane and won! It was the “did you see that!?” moment of the entire show.

jet car

Once they got back to their seats, Ron’s current wife and Winky’s current step-mom, Rita, didn’t even know how to break the news. But she did and Ron laughed and said “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?” Winky thought it was funny that his dad said “fuck.”

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